“I should have done something more innocuous, like hacked a dead girl’s phone and interfered with a police investigation.” —Fox News mole Joe Muto, who had this apartment searched this morning by the New York District Attorney’s office, taking a last dig at the Fox News corporation, News Corp, and their leader, Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch and his UK media empire have been under social and legal scrutiny for phone hackings and similar illegal “journalistic endeavors.”
“Better blowjobs than no jobs!” —Things Bill Clinton
should have never said.
“I knew that my buddies at Fox News were on it, like white on Fox News.” —
Stephen Colbert, on Fox News’ extensive coverage of the GSA scandal and penchant for white people.
“In a network that is fair and balanced, our message gets a good, fair play. But there are some networks that do not give us that fair play, and we’ve got to put some of our people there. We’ve got to get some surrogates there. We’ve got to get more commentators that are there. I was watching a show on CNN the other night where there were three commentators, and, as you can imagine, two were Democrats. Well, you know, let’s even things out.” —Mitt Romney, on Fox News’ commitment to being fair and balanced. He further suggests that other, biased networks should follow Fox’s lead. Actually.
“It’s so interesting to me that people talk about night comedy being cynical. What’s more cynical than forming an ideological news network like Fox and calling it ‘fair and balanced’? What we do, I think, is adorable in it’s idealism. It’s quaint.” —Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, circa 2003